Bites from the Apple: Magical! Revolutionary!! Blah.

Rejoice! The iPad is here! Well, almost... While Apple's long-awaited/rumored/gossiped-about/lusted-after tablet device was formally announced on Wednesday by Steve Jobs, availability of the iPad is still 60 days away for the Wi-Fi-only models and an additional 30 days until the 3G/Wi-Fi models are added. (Amazon has all six models--with your choice of 16/32/64 GB storage capacities--on the site, and you can sign up to be notified by e-mail when they're ready for pre-order.)

And unless you were one of the lucky members of the media invited to Wednesday's event (like my colleague Jeff Carlson, at the right), you won't get your chance to fondle an iPad at an Apple Store until the end of March at the earliest. But that's not stopping the gadgetosphere punditry (those who touched it at the event and those nowhere near San Francisco) from pronouncing the iPad as a disappointment. Here's just a quick list of the major gripes:

• No multitasking.

• No cellular voice capabilities on the 3G models--just data (although that's going to be relieved somewhat by Apple's backtracking on VoIP over 3G).

• And 3G is served by the reviled AT&T for the love of Pete!

• Still no support for Adobe Flash, the Web's main streaming video application. So no Hulu, no Netflix, and no personal videos stored on social networking sites.

• The 9.7-inch screen has an old-school 4:3 aspect ratio, which will bring back the black bars of old when watching widescreen, HD-quality video (via TUAW).

• No GPS in the Wi-Fi-only models.

• Did I mention... no multitasking!

The lack of multitasking is a big deal killer for those who wanted the iPad to be provide even a modicum of true work productivity features. Or, frankly, even just those who wanted the ability to stream some Pandora radio while going through your e-mail inbox. And I do have to say that with the speed of Apple's homegrown A4 processor, it's disappointing that it's not included. But for the customers that Apple is directing the iPad at, multitasking and some of the other lacking features won't matter. After contemplating the iPad for a few days, I think this passage from Gizmodo sums it up very nicely:

We can sit here in our geeky little dorkosphere arguing about it all day, but as much as Apple clearly enjoys our participation, the people Jobs wants to sell this to don't read our rants. They can't even understand them. My step-mother refuses to touch computers, but nowadays checks email, reads newspapers and plays Solitaire on an iPod Touch, after basically picking it up by accident one day. That's a future iPad user if I ever saw one.

And I'll throw this bit of wisdom in from John Gruber of Daring Fireball:

Apple doesn’t talk much about the technical details of the iPhone. They never talk about CPU speed or the name of the chip being used. They don’t tell you how much RAM is in there. Part of their vision for moving computers from technical culture to popular culture is about getting away from defining these things by their technical specs.

My Mother has been using Windows-based PCs for some time now, and she has expressed interest in moving to a Mac at some point. But the thing that's stopped her is the hurdle of having to relearn computing with a new UI, something that she's told me she just doesn't have the time or will for. She also isn't techno-spec savvy enough to understand the differences between processors or USB versus Apple dock connector, for that matter.

However, when I purchased my iPhone 3GS last summer, I gave her my OG EDGE-speed iPhone and she's been lapping it up--it's one of the last things that she puts down before going to sleep at night. And now that she's learned the basics of the iPhone OS, I think she'd be much more amenable to moving to an iPad for her mobile computing device (she has a notebook in addition to a desktop, which is her main repository of grandchild photos and the like). The iPad offers her just what she needs in a mobile device--access to calendar and e-mail, ability to surf the Web, and--most importantly--show off both photos and videos of my toddler to everyone she comes across (and believe me, she will).

I also see the iPad as the first computer my toddler will call his own. It won't be any time soon (as he's just about to turn 3), but perhaps in another year or two. He's a master of navigating the UI, and it's become both a great toy and a learning tool. (And frankly, it'll be a way for me to get my iPhone back. Just the other day, the boy turned the tables on me, saying, "Papa, if you're helpful and cooperative, I will give you my iPhone.")

So, perhaps the Apple iPad isn't as magical and revolutionary as master pitchman Steve Jobs would have us believe. But I do think it's the first step toward a new way of mobile computing devices (which is really about 9 years late, according to Arthur C. Clarke and the Newspad he envisioned in 2001: A Space Odyssey). However, it will take some time for things to shake out to determine whether this will be a success in iPhone terms or a disappointment in Apple TV terms (i.e., a niche product).

Before I go, a little something for the weekend: Pee Wee Herman taking on the iPad (and for those who enjoy a bit of NSFW humor, Hitler also has some gripes about the iPad using this well-worn clip from the movie Downfall).

Pee-wee Gets An iPad! from Pee-wee Herman

--Agen G.N. Schmitz

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